After spiraling into the blackhole and surrounded by darkness each and every day, there comes a time when it literally lifts up and out of us. You'll hear music the way you did before. You'll feel the joy and comfort of taking a hot shower. Your mind opens up to the possibilities of life once again. Imagination comes back. Energy floods the system. We begin to feel something other than pain and suffering.
However, it might be short-lived. A teaser of sorts. A seed that has the possibility to once again grow into a magnificent flower. The "weather" will come and go, damaging and causing chaos as it passes by. People will say "This too shall pass", yet cannot fully comprehend what it's like unless one has experienced it. We acknowledge these fine words but they cease to hit like they're suppose to. No great quotes hit home when one is in the darkness without any light in sight. Yes, we may have resonated with them before, but now them quotes are empty. We feel empty. Soulless.
Then we head out into the world and attempt to do our work without our soul. Holding space for people if that's your line of work. Or focusing on what you have to get done in order to make it through another day. Putting up the facade that requires so much energy and gets more challenging the longer the darkness has us in its grip. To keep up the "I'm good thanks or yes I'm fine and how about you?" chitchat. Energy of all kinds nowhere to be found. Not in food, sleep, exercise, meditation, breathing, talking, resting. Where is it?
To feel again is us being given another chance to be grateful for the real basic things in life. I'm talking basic function, self-care, cognitive abilities, memory, energy to get up, motivation to speak up, deciding what to eat, and all the rest of those little life things. When our interest wanes and we just want to throw in the towel because the most simplest of things now feel close to impossible. When it gets to this level and we're taken out of depth, it will feel as if there is nothing we can do. It's game over. It literally feels like this.
Thankfully, we are not our minds. Our minds are crazy. If we had to listen to everything it told us we'd all be off our rockers! Our thoughts are just that... thoughts. These few words can be a mantra for those struggling with the "attack of the thoughts." The mind stuff. It will attempt to tear us down from head to toe. Entering into every nook and cranny in the body and mind. Unbearable would be one word to describe it. Though we can still walk and talk, yet inside we feel trapped, drowning with only a moment here or there to come up for a breath.
Having spent so many years doing the practices of body, mind, and soul, the chance to breath freely and without tension is really a one-of-a-kind gift. Do not take it for granted. No doctor can help you get this back. The peaceful waves that are our inhalations and exhalations. The life-giving source. Expansion and contraction. The natural gap in the curtain of the universe at the end of every inhalation and exhalation. Anxiety will mess all this up if we let it. It'll take the reins and lead us astray. Growing ever stronger if we don't find a way to fight back. No jokes.
Pay attention to the quality of your breath. Keep it deep and free. Also get that heart pumping every week to really feel that we're alive! Hold on.
Do not let go. Readjust your grip if you need. Wipe away the sweat and tears. Go on. Stay connected to Source. Give thanks. We only need to do our best.
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